Confessions of a Feline Mind

von Marcus Krug

I do not seem to care about anything apart from myself. I like to ignore people, they say. But you know, it is not just that I blank them, I really ignore them. So I put a lot of effort into the action.

The thing is, you always have to be aware of what is going on around you, or otherwise you will miss ignoring people. By that I mean, I withdraw attention from a person deliberately. I always do that to get their attention. You see, that is how it works. Reciprocity is out of balance and needs to be restored. At least that is what people think. Cat people they call themselves, and live under the impression that they understand us. But under the cold prism of truth they do not – nobody understands cats, not even we ourselves.

I only ignore certain people. All would be too easy and that is boring. I like challenges. It challenges me to just ignore a particular group of people. That is usually the group that gives me the most attention already. And that is why I can afford to ignore them.

I do this because I am proud. Too full of pride, some might say. Some might even venture to say, my pride eats me up from the inside. But I could not care less. Well, I do care, but only briefly. Once I am sure, I have got their attention, I carry on ignoring them.

You may also have noticed that I tend to ignore people when they have crossed or criticised me. That is right. But I do not do it just for fun. I do it only when I do not agree with them. Which I never do. That is why I ignore them. I never agree with any of them because they are beneath me.

And then there are the people I do not ignore, because I cannot afford it. I pay close attention to them, because they do not take any notice of me. I suppose, deliberately. I have heard them referring to themselves as dog people.

Those kind of people usually have very little use for the likes of us cats. For me that means reciprocity is imbalanced. Then I generally take action. I jump on their lap when least they expect it. Or just prowl around their legs. Or I climb up the back of their armchairs, position myself close to their head and then I start purring into their ears, unexpectedly.

But if this does not help to get their attention I, in some very hard cases, have to resort to even more drastic measures. I remember one occasion where I had to climb up the drapes and jump onto the ignoramus’ back to compel that dog person’s attention.

But once I have got what I want – their attention –, I start ignoring them immediately. Of course, only after I have outrun them.